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chimamanda-adichieIn this article, I explore some of Chimamanda Adichie’s ideas from her 2015 Wellesley address.

1. Your standardized ideologies will not always fit your life because life is messy.

In my opinion, this means we should learn to take life as it comes.  Sometimes, life tackles those beliefs we’ve long accepted as gospel. And it is important to always unlearn and relearn certain things

2. We cannot always bend the world into the shapes we want, but we can try.

It is impossible to change the world into something you want because there are other occupants on this planet who might want something different. Whether you consider them good or bad people, the fact is they are as entitled to this planet as you are.

But you should try to make the world a better place by deciding to do good on a daily basis.

3. Vulnerability is a human trait.

I feel a lot of us struggle with the idea of vulnerability.  I struggle with vulnerability too. But I have learned that:

Vulnerability is not confession: Telling strangers about your life is not the way to go.

Vulnerability is not weakness; it is courage. Undertaking something daunting, knowing that it can potentially fail, is being vulnerable.

Vulnerability is being honest with yourself. It is about having the courage to face your own reality.

Vulnerability and trust are closely linked. You share those hard feelings with people you trust. And trust is built over time.

4. Think about what really matters to you.

I would say that you need to think a lot about this. It is a soul searching process that requires you to be vulnerable with yourself.

After doing this exercise, I realized that what matters to me the most is writing. For me, what matters is having something that has the potential to outlive me.

5. There are people who would like you (the real you)

I no longer live my life hoping to please people; that is manipulation.

I just live my life allowing my values to guide me. Human relationships are complicated but I believe whatever way you lead your life, there would be people that align with your ideals and want to relate with you. Those are the people you need in your life because they will drive you to become more of what you already are.

It is important though that you figure out who you really are. Otherwise, you will attract people that should not even be in your life.

Thanks for reading. If you came across something that resonated with you. Let me know. Leave a comment. Be vulnerable.

Bye.

 

 

-Tobi Amokeodo