It’s often difficult to move past a bad experience. Generally, we avoid the things that cause us emotional or physical pain and this essentially keeps us stuck. The fear of experiencing something awful again is what prevents people from forging ahead.

I have had my fair share of bad experiences. Jobs I didn’t get and relationships (platonic and otherwise) that failed. But overall, I have developed a positive mindset so I’m able to move forward.

Below I share some powerful yet simple ideas for moving forward after failure or disappointment. 

Everything Has an Ending

According to Gustavo Razzetti of Physchologytoday.com, “everything in life has a beginning and an ending. You don’t need to continue rehashing your past to keep it alive. Make peace with the end, especially if it was ugly, and move on.”

Life is constant change and separation. Once we understand that these are permanent features of life, we gain perspective. Whatever season you are in at the moment will end someday and you would need to move forward.

 Stop Playing the Victim

Stop playing the victim. Nobody is bound to give us what we deserve and no one is bound to treat us fairly or properly. People being unkind or unfair will continue to be a part of life because we all develop different values and see life differently.

Instead, let that unsavoury encounter inspire you to break the chain of negative engagements and do good by the next person.

Make sure the Past does Not repeat itself

Beyond moving forward, you’ve got to access the past. Ask yourself, ” what did this experience teach me and what must I now be conscious of going forward?”

When it comes to dealing with people, here’s the tenet I live by:

“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time”.

So it’s important to assess people by their actions especially when it comes to how they treat us.

Confront the Past

If all the aforementioned tips fail, maybe you need to go back to the past to deal with what happened. This is especially important if you find yourself constantly thinking about the past or what someone did to you.

I had a difficult experience living with two roommates back at the University.  We were not very compatible, basically. Of course, I would admit that I might have been a very sensitive person back then but they had their faults too.  In this case, I don’t think it’s important for me to reach out to them because might react negatively and I don’t need that essentially’. Also, that experience hardly comes to mind.  So my point is, always weigh the risk  especially when it comes to confronting people

To conclude, you just have to recognize that life is about ups and downs. By choosing to be “safe”, you are cheating yourself out of the things you truly desire. Please be courageous, go out of your comfort soon.

 


Olutobi

My superpower is creative engagement; whether working as regulatory affairs professional at a pharmaceutical company or as a fashion art director. Malcolm Gladwell calls people like me, "connectors".

I try to read at least a book a month, I have a green thumb (not literally) and my favourite quote ever is " remember to play after every storm".

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