wholehearted living


Wholehearted living

My biggest challenge is being able to live wholeheartedly; being able to experience life and make decisions without fear of what people will think about my choices. I’m referring to this idea of living on one’s terms which author and speaker,  Brene Brown often refers to. 

You might be asking why I care about what other people think about me. The truth is that to a considerable extent. I don’t care, but I also understand that my choices could affect how much support I get back from society. The term social influence refers to the ways in which we alter our behaviour according to the demands of society and society actually rewards conformity.

For example, an openly queer person in Nigeria risks being jailed or being a victim of hate-related crimes.  The need for conformity is also the reason an individual wearing dreadlocks or having a visible tattoo is perceived as a criminal by the Nigeria Police.

So for me, to live on my terms is being able to pursue the things I love without someone noting that I’m being too much, doing too much, or being weird. Although, I also find myself secretly criticizing people engrossed in the things they are passionate about.

Furthermore, living on my own terms will not guarantee that I will be happy.

Being Happy All the Time

 I think we’ve been sold this idea of utopia; of constantly being in a beautiful mental state. In short, I too find the idea of constant happiness alluring. However, I have learned that pursuing this idea could be mentally stressful.

I have experienced happiness, anxiety, sadness, pain, and joy and I have come to the conclusion that to live life fully is to simply live life; to rejoice in the good times and to feel however we deem, when things are tough. wholehearted living is also having the courage to live through our storms (rather than ending our lives) and to play after every storm. To make peace with who we are and to constantly self reflect. Above all, to live life fully is to try to be ourselves, especially if by so doing, we stand to gain more than lose

Happy New year, everyone.

-Tobi  Amokeodo


My superpower is creative engagement; whether working as regulatory affairs professional at a pharmaceutical company or as a fashion art director. Malcolm Gladwell calls people like me, "connectors".

I try to read at least a book a month, I have a green thumb (not literally) and my favourite quote ever is " remember to play after every storm".

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